Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday

28 Apr

I sometimes often wish I could go back to work. Full-time. 

I can barely remember what it’s like to work full-time. I can imagine it’s a little like staring at a computer screen for 6-7 hours a day, and conversing with co-workers for the other hour or two. Throw in some meetings and conference calls, Excel spreadsheets and PowerPoint presentations, and that probably sums it up. But all I can think about is the quiet, alone time I would have where I could actually hear myself think. The time in the car commuting to the office would be nice. And the lunches. Those glorious lunch hours – either by myself or with colleagues – they would be the perfect way to break up the work day and I would totally enjoy them.

A wave of jealousy washes over me when my husband calls from work to tell me he has to travel. Why can’t I ever have five days to myself? Five whole days without the responsibility of making and serving three meals plus two snacks a day, changing diapers and Pull-ups, driving the kids to and from swim class and preschool, tripping over countless toys left strewn about the house, and refereeing various squabbles over stolen puzzles/books/younameittheyfightoverit. Five days to read books in my down time, enjoy eating out in restaurants, and even exercise at the hotel gym if I wanted to. Sounds heavenly to me.

Don’t get me wrong, when he announces he has a business trip coming up, I am not shy about laying on the guilt trip. I take full advantage of the days leading up to his trip, leaving him with the kids for “quality time” while I get a pedicure, go on a long run, or take a few hours to do some window {or actual} shopping for myself. It’s my way of preparing myself for the days and nights of exhaustion that I will most eloquently endure solo.

And we survive. Somehow, we make it through the week without Daddy. It helps that I have close friends and my in-laws close by, and they usually  offer to help when they know I’m on my own. I seriously do not know how single parents do it. I have a huge amount of respect for them – it’s hard work raising kids on your own.

When he gets back we have a happy reunion full of lots of hugs and kisses. We hear about the latest city he’s visited, he doles out souvenirs to the kids, and I promptly sneak out the laundry room door to the nearest coffee shop with my library book in hand so that I can recover from the week’s escapades over a nice warm cuppa.

I’ve gotta get my me-time, or I would not survive as a Mommy. Plain and simple.

Sending love and prayers to Kim for a speedy recovery from gallbladder surgery. Glad that sucker is finally gone! xoxo

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